August 8, 2010

Hygiene Hassle

Why do some men and boys have such a hard time with personal hygiene? Why is it so hard to routinely and instinctively brush your teeth, take a shower and put on deodorant every single day? I certainly don’t have the answer, but I definitely get the pleasure of experiencing the wonderful times my boyfriend “forgets” to shower or brush his teeth. Ok, seriously you know it’s bad when my boyfriend and I are off to work and before we leave the house I have to ask him, “Babe, did you brush your teeth?” and he immediately answers, “Oh, crap! No, I forgot.” Really…really?!? How does one forget to brush his teeth before leaving the house?



Today was a perfect example. I dropped my boyfriend off at work this morning, kissed him goodbye and realized no brushing took place, “You didn’t brush your teeth did you?” His response was not surprising at all, “Um, no.” I sometimes feel he thinks it’s actually funny that he just forgets the simple rules of good hygiene. New flash boyfriend of mine, it is NOT funny! It’s really just gross. I don’t think a woman would ever forget to brush her teeth. And forget about before bed, if he’s too tired there is no way I am getting my boyfriend to practice good hygiene and brush his teeth for all of 2 minutes. It’s such a daunting task, I know, but the laziness takes over and there will be no brushing of the teeth.

Brushing teeth is one thing, but refusing to shower because he doesn’t feel like it is just another story. I’ve definitely recorded my boyfriend going two days sometimes without showering. I really don’t even know how that’s possible, and these are days that include working, so you know sweat was involved. I truly cannot go a day without showering, why would a person even want to? Showering is so refreshing; feeling and smelling clean is the best. This is definitely just a guy thing because even my younger brothers don’t like showering or should I say didn’t like showering. Now they’re teenagers and actually like to shower, shave and put on deodorant, but I know that won’t last long. I give them a few more years and they’ll be just like that non-brushing, non-showering boyfriend of mine. I’ve come to the conclusion that guys are like cats, they absolutely hate soap and water!

Luckily, the deodorant process isn’t a huge issue. If my boyfriend forgets to put it on fortunately for me he doesn’t smell, which is a huge plus because he “forgets” to apply quite often.

I can’t even get started on the toe nail hygiene; well I guess I can because that’s the whole purpose of this blog and I am sure as hell going to take advantage of it! Ok so for some reason my boyfriend’s toe nails grow faster than any other human being on the planet, and obviously the up keep is really just not taking place. It is when they get to the length where I climb into bed and start a game of footsies and my feet are ripped to shreds, that they are no longer called toe nails. That is when they are officially called TALONS! Yes, talons, like a giant hawk or bird of prey. It is not difficult to just clip one’s toe nails. Instead, he’d rather wait until talon status to finally do something about it, and that is only when I show him the scratches he’s given me that he finally feels bad, gives in and cuts the shredders.

I’m hoping one day I will not have to remind my boyfriend to shower, brush his teeth and cut his damn toe nails. One day, just maybe one day, the hygiene hassle will turn into hygiene heaven.








2 comments:

  1. I know this post is verryyy old, but did you ever manage to make personal hygiene a habit for your boyfriend? I'm having such a hard time with my boyfriend. His toenails disgust me. Whenever I ask him whether he brushed his teeth he says yes but I know very well he didn't. I never taught I would have to teach personal hygiene to a grown up man :'(

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  2. I'm curious too! Do update us. I'm also having a hard time dealing with my boyfriend's lack of personal hygiene. He's already in his early 40's and I'm beginning to think that if he has not developed any good basic hygiene by now, he's never going to. He doesn't brush his teeth at night (only in the morning), doesn't shower before bed or after he gets home from work. I'd like if he'd at least wash his feet before he climbs into bed, but no. He couldn't be bothered to do so and tells me his feet are clean because they're protected by his socks all day. How do I answer that??? He likes to snack in bed and leaves a trail of crumbs for the roaches in the process. Thankfully, for a person who showers and brushes his teeth only once a day he doesn't smell. And he uses deodorant and perfume religiously. But he's so stubborn and doesn't take too kindly if I were to keep reminding him to brush his teeth and to shower before bed. I just thank God we don't live together! He'd drive me crazy

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